An open letter to my cold.
Hey. How ya doin'? Wanna soooda? No!? Well, too bad. You're not getting anything else of mine anyway. You jerk! I mean, what's with all the mucus? Is it really neccesary? I go through an entire box of kleenex just trying to clean up the damn mess you make. And to make it worse, I discover that because I feel like crap and haven't shaved, the kleenex also sticks to my beard. Now that's just plain embarassing.
And of course you don't show up until the two days that I have to spend 3 hours explaining to students that yes you have to do the entire lab, not just part one. And, yes, you do have to show up next week. All the while trying not to sound like I have a sponge shoved up my nose and hoping to god that I don't drip anything while I'm talking to the cute girl that needs extra help. My cold, you truly are a jerk.And I stole the speakers from the computer of the grad student that left, not sold. Still a difference. Do you find making me stubbed up funny?
My cold, if you are gone in the morning when I role over, I won't feel sad. I'm sure you still have my number and will call me again sometime soon.
Not quite sincerely,
Blake
3 comments:
I took 2 tylenol cold, that should help. Maybe I'll have to kick it up to Advil cold and sinus. If only they worked on women. I think they call them rufies then, though. Hmmm.
I can do a good Crash Test Dummies voice now though. "Once, there was this kid who...got into an accident...and when...he came to..somethin' somethin' somethin'... aaaah aaaah aaaah aah aaah aaaah aaaah aah.
Except I'm not blonde and not quite the same tool that Chad Kroeger is. Though I don't know id I've seen the new video. Though if it helps with The NS's, score! I'll practice my air guitar skills.
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